i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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