I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
