its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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