I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
