Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
