Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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