it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Randomize