I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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