How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
