if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
