I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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