Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
