i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
