Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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