I think I just saw someone hide a body.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
