I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize