apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
where does the pee come out of this thing
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
