I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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