Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
