it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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