hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize