I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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