just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
