3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
