shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
