I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
