where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
