Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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