You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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