i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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