The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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