All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
