escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize