i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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