Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The air taste purple.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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