Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
