you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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