Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
