I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
