thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize