There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
