I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize