AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
