creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
