are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
