i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
