...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Randomize
