Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
