Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
