You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
