why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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