i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
