apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
