Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
