I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
