Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
