And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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