just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
