Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
