I am spending my child support on dildos
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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