By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
