how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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