Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
