In the future we'll all be gay
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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