Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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